Do You Fear What I Fear? Read online

  She wondered how long it would take for hypothermia to set in.

  “August!” Despite the spray of frigid salt water that stung her lips, she kept calling him. She couldn’t see him. He must have gone into the water. Then, twenty feet away, a head popped up.

  August Avery was dead set on drowning himself. She allowed herself a small grim smile at the pun.

  She plunged after him, her heart thundering. She couldn’t let him die.

  She could have sworn she heard the distant sound of her plastic Santa singing.

  “Oh, holy night…”

  CHAPTER 3

  Nearly too late!

  Daniel Riverton had seen the news and recognized August, and he’d done some investigating among the kid’s friends and found out about the breakup. He’d even found the girl who had ditched August, and frankly, he hadn’t been impressed.

  Her name was Ciara Mullins, and she’d been sulky and rather full of herself when he found her hanging out with a group of her friends. A pretty thing, yes, but vacant and empty, and not in the least concerned with anyone else. The great thing about being a vampire was that he could look at her, capture her gaze with his own and get anything out of her that he wanted, silently compelling her to tell the truth.

  She was convinced that she was just passing time in college, getting a degree only to mollify her parents. When she graduated she was going to head to New York City, where she would walk around in Times Square until she was discovered. Agents and directors would flock to her, of course. She was beautiful.

  If the situation hadn’t been so serious, he would have found it all a bit amusing, because she was speaking honestly, compelled by his will and demand for the truth. When she finally finished speaking about herself, she went on to August Avery.

  He was very cute, she admitted. He had something. Some kind of mystique. But she was above a relationship with anyone in Salem. The world was waiting for her. And he was such a silly boy. He loved to go on long walks at Dead Horse Beach—even in the middle of winter.

  Daniel left Ciara in the midst of her friends, who were all staring at her, stunned and appalled.

  He didn’t feel guilty that he’d forced her to bare her soul. Her soul could use some help, which just might come her way now in the form of a serious wakeup call from her friends.

  But when he reached Dead Horse Beach, following up on what she had said about August’s fondness for the place, he was afraid he was too late. Looking out, he saw nothing at first.

  And then…something, a leap of motion in the depths of a wave. He narrowed his vision and focused, and he felt as if his heart leaped into his throat.

  August Avery was out there, all right—struggling like crazy with Sam.

  Daniel was good at everything vampires were supposed to be good at—he’d been forced to be, enduring hours of training with the council. Vampires were like everyone else, really. Some people had a talent for music, some for art and some with numbers and gadgets and electronics. He had never been fond of turning into a bat or a wolf. He’d grown up being taught that all creatures had a right to walk the earth, and that a man—any man—owed compassion and aid to every creature on the earth. Becoming a wolf or a bat did nothing to further any of those ends. However, he’d learned to use his speed, his tremendous strength and the power of his mind to compensate for his unwillingness to shift. And so, in the blink of an eye, he was out there in the water, wresting the struggling August away from Samantha, who had to be growing exhausted.

  After all, she was only using borrowed powers—the gift every Keeper received.

  But those powers could never equal his. On the other hand, she had what he never could: humanity. The ability to really see and appreciate the sunlight, to function as effectively in the light as she did in the dark.

  None of that mattered now, though. The water was close to freezing and while August Avery was a fool, he wouldn’t die, only turn into a popsicle.

  Samantha, on the other hand…

  “My God!” Sam gasped, head just above the water. “He really is intent on this!”

  “I’ve got him—I’ve got him. Get yourself out of the water,” he told her.

  She nodded. He’d always respected her for being realistic about her own abilities and limitations, as well as those of everyone around her, both human and Other. She could be stubborn, but not when it came to getting something done.

  She made it to the shore, although once she crawled up on the sand she started shivering so violently that she almost seemed to be engaged in some form of St. Vitus dance.

  Daniel tossed August, who was gasping and choking, down on the sand by her side. Then Daniel used his enhanced ability for speed to burst into a nearby convenience store and rush back with a huge thermal blanket that he wrapped around her—making a mental note to find a way to pay the owner later.

  August shivered and sputtered, but not for long.

  “What are you trying to do, August?” Samantha demanded. “Don’t you know it’s impossible for you to drown?”

  “But not Samantha,” Daniel said harshly.

  “I bit someone,” August said, his voice filled with self-disgust and loathing. “I bit someone. I don’t know what happened to me. I was upset…hurt. I don’t know. I wanted to feel…better. No, strong. As if I couldn’t be hurt. I was horrible. I deserve to die.”

  “You didn’t kill her, August. She’s going to be all right. She’ll have some nightmares, and she’ll be sick for a few days, but she’ll be fine. Yes, you behaved badly—horribly. What you did threatens our very existence. But you’re lucky. We’re all lucky. She didn’t die, and what happened can be explained as a college prank, someone going a little loopy. And you stopped, that’s the point. The good in you won out. You hurt her, yes—but you stopped. You’re not a killer. You did know better,” Daniel said. “That doesn’t demand a death sentence.”

  August looked at them both. “Oh, yeah? I betrayed us all. I was evil at heart. I brought on the darkness!”

  Daniel was startled when Sam laughed at that.

  August appeared to be indignant. “What? You think I couldn’t have caused this?” he demanded.

  “August, I don’t think any vampire could have caused this,” Samantha said. “I wish I could believe that it was a vampire—because then I could do something about it. But I think it’s a different form of Other who brought this about. It’s just not in our realm. Not to mention that the darkness began before you bit that girl—the darkness has been coming on for a while now.”

  “So what? Is it going to last forever?” August asked. “I can’t bear it!”

  “Hey,” Daniel said, hunkering down by him. “Vampires love the dark. We shouldn’t be suffering the way so many other people and Others are. Fairies—they must be struggling. And the leprechauns—when it’s dark too long, they get ridiculously grumpy. And human beings—they get seasonal depression, cabin fever. Come on, August. It can’t be that bad.”

  August looked at Samantha. “I am so sorry. I really didn’t want to hurt that woman. I just—I just want to stop the hurt in me.”

  “As your Keeper, and since you did stop before really hurting that poor woman at the concert, I am willing to think about probation,” Samantha told him. “What you did is wrong, but you know that. Come on, August—it can’t be that bad.”

  “I think—I think I was caught on video. People will know what I did,” August said.

  “I can get in and get rid of the video,” Daniel said.

  Samantha nodded. “And one of us can go see the victim. A little hypnotism will get rid of her memories.” She smiled. “You might deserve a little jail time, but I don’t want attention focused on the vampires. You don’t need to learn remorse—you know remorse. Except that you know damned well that you can’t drown, so what were you try
ing to do?”

  “I thought if I froze, perhaps my head would break off,” August said.

  “August! That’s terrible. You have a family—people who love you.”

  “You think? My father is always furious with me.”

  “Fathers are always furious with their sons,” Daniel assured him.

  “I don’t want to live,” August said bleakly.

  “August—all this over a girl?” Samantha demanded. “Come on. Life is like that for all of us—sometimes we fall in love with someone who just doesn’t love us in return. But we get over the hurt and move on. And if you can do that, then the right person can find you—the person who appreciates you for all the incredible things you are.”

  “It’s not just Ciara,” he said wistfully, meeting Samantha’s eyes. “It’s the world. Love has left the world. That’s why it’s dark. No one loves anyone anymore.” He waved a hand in the air. “No one stays together. Nothing means anything. Why bother?”

  “Of course people stay together,” Samantha said.

  “My parents are talking about splitting up,” August said. “Love is all a lie, a joke. Christmas cheer, the spirit of the season—hah!”

  “You’re wrong,” Samantha said passionately. “There’s a lot of love and goodness out there. All the time. The point of the holiday season is that it’s a good time for all of us to stop and think about what we have, about all the wonderful things in our lives.”

  “Yeah? Well, what are they?” August demanded.

  “Come on, August,” Daniel said, shaking his head. “Life may be tough right now, but you have a lot to be grateful for—you had it good growing up. And you’re special.”

  “Yeah, special.”

  “Privileged,” Sam said, her patience growing thin. “You’re a vampire. You have strength that others couldn’t begin to possess. You can literally soar, and you can run like the wind. Yes, you have responsibilities, too, because you’re part of a special breed. But you have people who love you, an entire community that cares fiercely for you, and if one love affair goes wrong, you can move on and look for the next.”

  “What are you talking about?” August asked. “Look at the two of you. Yes, I know about the two of you.” He stared at Samantha, then Daniel, and finally returned his attention back to Samantha. “Everyone knows about the two of you. You were the perfect couple. But the world threw a monkey wrench into things, so you two just caved in and threw everything away.”

  Samantha was obviously taken by surprise. She turned bright red and gaped at August for a moment, and strained not to glance in Daniel’s direction. Her jaw seemed to be locked hard.

  “August—” she began, but he cut her off.

  “Yeah, right, it’s Christmas Eve. I have to be cheerful, look on the bright side of things. Except it’s dark as pitch out here.”

  “Yes, and I think you enjoyed pretending that you were causing the darkness,” Samantha said.

  “Because I am dark,” August said.

  “Drama queen, more like,” Daniel commented.

  “You’re being an immature brat, if you ask me,” Samantha said.

  Daniel almost laughed. She’d been trying so hard to be gentle with August, but when she finally lost her temper, it seemed to affect him more than anything else she had said.

  It was his turn to grow flustered. “I—I—Uh, yeah. I’m sorry.”

  “You’re hurt and you’re lashing out,” Samantha said. “And I’m freezing. Could we move this conversation back to my house? The party has started by now, and we’re going to go in looking like drowned rats—not to mention I think I have icicles dripping off my nose.”

  “I’m so sorry,” August said. “I really didn’t want to hurt you, Samantha.”

  “August, you don’t really want to hurt anyone,” Sam said. “I can see that. We can both see that.”

  “Let’s go,” Daniel said. “Sam is freezing.” As much as he disliked it, sometimes there were no other options, so he transformed himself into a bat, assuming the other two would quickly follow.

  August flew with him, but he realized that Samantha was missing and looked back down toward the beach.

  She was struggling, wet and soggy, on the sand, one wing dragging.

  Swearing softly, he swooped down beside her, transforming back into a man. August quickly followed suit, as did Samantha, though she changed more slowly.

  “Okay, so this isn’t going to work for me when I’m this soaked,” she said. “You two go ahead and get back and—”

  “Not in this lifetime,” Daniel said. “We head back together. We’ll just go on foot.”

  “That will take us forever,” she said.

  “Then we’ll call a taxi.” Daniel reached into his pocket for his cell. He began to key in a number, then realized his phone was soaked.

  “I threw mine in the bushes,” August said. “I’ll find it.” He emerged a moment later. “I was going to call Ciara and tell her I was killing myself because of her,” he admitted.

  “Did you?” Daniel asked him.

  “No, I chickened out,” August admitted.

  “No, you were smart,” Daniel told him.

  “Really?” August asked.

  “You don’t want her having that power over you,” Daniel said. “Trust me—you’re going to get over her. And when you’re over her, you’re going to be glad that she never knew you wanted to call it quits because of her.”

  August looked at Samantha, waiting for her opinion. “I don’t know your girlfriend, but—”

  “Ex-girlfriend. She dumped me, remember?”

  “I don’t know her, but I do know you. Yes, you’ve made some trouble, you’ve let her lead you around a little bit. So let me be blunt. Use this occasion to grow some balls. You can be whatever you want to be. Get over this and move forward. Decide on a dream and go for it.”

  “She was my dream!” August said.

  “Don’t be an idiot!” Sam said, growing impatient. She was really freezing now, and she needed to get home. “I told you to grow some balls.”

  Somehow, Daniel managed not to laugh at the stunned expression on August’s face as he said, “All right, let’s get going.” He knew Sam wasn’t going to manage the trip on her own, so he swept his arm up to transform and enwrapped her in his hold before she could protest. She realized his intent.

  She didn’t protest. She had to have been really cold. At his side, August Avery transformed, as well.

  A moment later they were flying. The night air was cold, but he kept her within his hold and protected her from the force of the wind, keeping her as warm as possible while managing a decent level and speed.

  He tried not to tremble at having her so near after so much time apart, but it was impossible.

  He’d learned a lot in the past two years. They’d both been way too young when the council was formed, dutiful children who had behaved in a way they had considered responsible, by virtue of their birth.

  What they had lacked was wisdom and a sense of perspective.

  And the knowledge of just how rare it was to find the kind of love they had shared.

  And now that he knew those things…

  It was too late.

  Samantha had taken on not only the vampires but all of Salem as her responsibility. She was there to guide her cousins, to watch out for everyone. She had grown up and grown strong, and she had closed her heart to him.

  He’d dreamed of a chance to come home for Christmas and get her alone, leading to a passionate declaration. In two years, he hadn’t forgotten a thing. They’d both been swept up in the nobility of serving, when there had been no need. They could serve and still be together. Others had feared for them. That was understandable. But those Others had been wrong. He had never stopped loving her; h
e had never strayed from her. All he wanted was a chance.

  And now the darkness might give it to him.

  Because while he didn’t believe it was a vampire matter, he knew that Samantha’s feeling that the whole town was hers to protect meant it was still her responsibility.

  They could stand strong together, he thought.

  If only she would let that happen….

  CHAPTER 4

  When they neared the center of town, Daniel slowed down to a less noticeable pace and August fell into step beside him.

  “We can’t exactly walk into your party looking like this,” Daniel said to Samantha. “But my house is nearby, so let’s get over there and dry off.”

  “Have you suddenly started carrying a supply of women’s clothing?” Samantha asked him.

  “No, but I can get you in front of a fire while you figure out what to do next.”

  She nodded, and they hurried down the street toward his house.

  Like Samantha’s home, it was old, with low ceilings and exposed beams throughout. Sam had to admit the Rivertons had done a beautiful job, sticking with the old but bringing in the new. There was something that spoke of a long-ago gentility in the parlor: the drapes were heavy damask, and the hand-hewn furniture was covered in shades of royal blue and crimson. But they rushed by the formal parlor and back to the family room, where the double fireplace—which opened to the parlor on the other side—was framed by a mantel that held family pictures going back generations. The furniture was comfortable, soft leather, and a wide-screen TV hung on one wall, while another held a stereo system and shelves of games, DVDs and hundreds of books.

  They had barely entered the room when Daniel lifted then extended one hand toward the fireplace.

  A blaze immediately rose up.

  She stared at him, astonished. Fire starting wasn’t a known vampire talent. In fact, on the whole, vampires weren’t terribly fond of fire. It was the one element that could destroy them.