Why I Love New Orleans Read online

  While the National World War II Museum is massive, the Civil War Museum is fairly small. Once again, size means little. It’s one of the best museums on the Confederacy and the “War of Northern Aggression” or the American Civil War you’ll ever see. (Yes, I was in school a while ago; there were still teachers telling it as such back then!)

  There are exhibits here that showcase Jefferson Davis, the one and only President of the Confederacy, and exhibits on the African-American fighting troops. Much to be seen and appreciated—as always, the tragedy of young men fighting and dying, each believing in his (or her, in a few instances!) cause until the true brutality of war sets in. The players in the great battle that nearly ripped us apart but then made us stronger are seen here—almost as if we were sitting down to tea with them.

  The thing is, museums teach us. That includes the good—and the bad and the ugly. But, they’re all about the human experience. I grew up in the South so I understand that the economy at the time dictated that the South held the majority of the slaves. I understand as well that some were treated poorly and some were treated well. None of that is the point that we all learned during the war—no man has the right to own another man. The majority of the soldiers fighting for the South did not own slaves—only 4.95 percent of men in the South did. Still, while the Federal government fought the war to preserve the Union, the South was fighting for “states’ rights” and an important right to the South was that to continue with slavery. But history can be strange, too—in New Orleans, men of African heritage sometimes owned other men of African heritage. We now know that no man of any color has any right to own any man of any color, but we learned it all in a very bloody bath. I’m grateful for this museum; it teaches. As I’ve said, we get to see things we did that were not moral; we also see more simply lives, wonderful human beings, and the confusion that will always be the human soul.

  Museums…we’ll deal with more later! If you have a chance, these two are excellent! As always, check opening dates and times if you want to go!

  Day Four - FiFi Mahoney's and More

  New Orleans is definitely known for shopping, and naturally, I have a few favorite stops to make when I’m there.

  NOLA is a place where you can come, where chain store isn’t followed by chain store. Of course, they do have some chain stores, just as they do have malls. But when you come to the French Quarter or move along Royal Street, you really will find one-of-a-kind shops—the ones we really miss now in so much of the homogenized country and beyond.

  Yes, many shops in NOLA are filled with T-shirts and gadgets, trinkets, and souvenirs, but most are a little bit different and some are very different.

  Some are for the casual tourist and some are for the connoisseur.

  There are jewelry stores offering a fleur-di-lis motif on earrings, necklaces, and more, some commonplace and affordable, and some pretty pricey. There are high-end clothing shops and there are antique shops that offer everything from Civil War rifles, knives, buckles, and so on to exquisite furniture.

  You can shop for your kitchen. Buy charming aprons and barbecue implements or beignet mix, coffee—and lord knows! Hot sauce. Glass and china, fine wine, quirky bottle holders and can openers. Crawfish motifs can be seen almost as often as the fleur-de-lis. You can find the very elegant and the silly, risqué fun.

  People who come to New Orleans often usually wind up having a few favorite shops—places where they have to stop because they don’t exist anywhere else. Some eagerly save and await their next chance to purchase an antique washstand or bowl or an exquisite piece of estate jewelry or newly created finery.

  Art! There is incredible and fabulous art to be found. You don’t even need to go to a store—take a walk down Royal or around Jackson Square. You might snag a true treasure from an up and coming name—before they become a name!

  The galleries here are so fantastic, you could plan a day just looking at whats for sale in the shops and on Jackson Square and Royal Street.

  So, of course, I have a few favorite shops of my own and in there, one that I never miss.

  It isn’t a dress shop or clothing store or even an antique or a jewelry store or a gallery. My tastes tend to the slightly different.

  NOLA is so full of wonderful stores that I couldn’t begin to mention them all (though I will mention more as I move on with these blogs!) But there is one curious and wonderful shop that I—being me—must see when I’m in NOLA. It’s ever-changing. It’s a one-of-a-kind shop that doesn’t carry excellent New Orleans coffee, beignet mix, clothing, jewelry, antiques or Cajun spices hot enough to pull smoke from your head.

  Fifi Mahoney’s. (934 Royal Street)

  And first, of course, I don’t head right in. I look at their window displays because it’s almost like going to a little art show. What they do at Fifi’s with wigs is fun, enchanting, and uniquely NOLA.

  I, and my little group of merry Slushpile Players, dress up fairly often to perform what may be defined as “something like dinner theater” or entertainment. We’ve done everything from spoofs of the latest rage in contemporary books or movies to the classics and beyond. So, when you’re looking for a really fine Mad Hatter Wig, crazy vampire wig...Mohawk, Oz, Steampunk-or-other wig, where do you head?

  Fifi Mahoney’s.

  First off, I should say, you can buy any kind of a wig here. From lesser materials and funky to a far higher quality. Just want to see what you’d look like with shorter hair, longer hair, darker hair, or light hair? You can do that here. Want to see what bangs would look like on you—or how you’d look with a Veronica Lake sweep of lock over your forehead? Yes, you can do that.

  Were you ever dying to go chartreuse? Perhaps wear a mock beehive, a ship, steamboat, or skulls dangling from ponytails? Yes, you can test it out at Fifi’s!

  There are “normal” wigs, and then, of course, there are the designed wigs. Behind the artistry of the wigs here are the creators, Brian and Marci.

  The two creative geniuses of the wig world have mastered the craft of making hair fun. Check out their web site. It’s fifimahoneys.com, and you’ll see a few of their fantastic pieces. Entertainers from across the city (and the country!) come to them and when it gets close to Mardi Gras or Halloween, the place becomes a veritable madhouse of activity. While Mardi Gras may be celebrated in other exceptional forms across the world, say in Venice or Rio, few know the fervor as those who live in New Orleans. There are “krewes” to dress, kings and queens and royal courts, and if you don’t happen to be part of a krewe or on a float, you’re probably going to a party.

  Few party with such flair—or such extravagant wigs! Many to most of these come from Fifi Mahoney’s.

  For me, walking in and seeing their latest creations is always intriguing and I always find a fun, fantastic, or downright incredible wig that they’ve created and I feel that I must have.

  But they’ll do custom as work as well. Dressing up for an occasion as a sprite or a fairy? You can have long flowing locks in any color of the rainbow threaded with flowers and leaves—and birds, if you so choose. Are you a gambler or a dance hall girl? Dice and cards can adorn your hair—along with poker chips and even a small slot machine, should you so choose!

  Fifi Mahoney’s is on Royal Street, a nice walk if you happen to be staying at the beautiful and historic Hotel Monteleone—or anywhere. No visit is complete without a walk down Royal Street, which we’ll get to later.

  Fifi’s carries all kinds of make-up, too, from the day to day to whacky lashes and brilliant colors for special events.

  And fun, funky, jewelry, a lot of it locally created and some one-of-a-kind Fun hats!

  And, if you’re fond of your own hair, you can have that taken care of too at the salon in the back.

  Say you’re in NOLA with someone else who is not in the least interested in hair or wigs. (It happens!) The 900 block of Royal has other cool and amazing shops and...a Community Coffee shop just across the street on the corner. To me, it’s a
bit of seventh heaven—play at the wig shop, and stop in for Community Coffee. Their pecan-praline is to die for! (And I don’t even like flavored coffees!)

  Day Five - Rounding the French Quarter

  The French Quarter, going clockwise, is bounded by the river, Canal Street, Rampart Street, and Esplanade. It’s a fantastic grid of historic buildings, shops, museums, hotels, bed and breakfast establishments and great places to eat. There are wonderful private homes, here, too, and apartments and all kinds of ways to stay for a visit—or forever!

  There’s no way in a 1000 something word blog to really relate the wonder of the French Quarter to you, but I’ll try to hit a few highlights, going around that clock!

  First, there’s the river. That’s where you can board the Steamboat Natchez. And it’s where you can look out and see the majesty of the Mississippi and understand the moniker “Crescent City.” The water is river water, dark, sometimes turbulent, and deep—it also makes you understand the term “Mighty Mississippi.” Just to walk along the river is an experience. You can also catch the Riverfront Line streetcar here; it’s a fun thing to do if you just pick a destination, or hop on to ride out—and ride right back! The streetcars were operating sixty years before the electric lines that made a “trolley” come into being; in NOLA, they are still called streetcars! (There are three streetcar lines—the Riverfront, the Canal Street, and the St. Charles. They’re actually excellent for getting around!)

  You’ll come upon the Aquarium of the Americas as you head to Canal Street; a truly remarkable facility with all manner of creatures. (Aquarium on another day!) The Shops at Canal Street are here—yes, on Canal Street. There are some different stores here—and some chains. But if you need something you can only get at a chain, here’s a convenient place! If you were to cross the street from the Aquarium and the mall, you’d be at Harrah’s, but, aha! Across the street you are no longer in the boundaries of the French Quarter.

  Say you walk up Canal side toward Rampart Street. You will pass some souvenir shops, hotels and restaurants. Most of them, even the national—you can get an Arby’s fix here—are housed in quaint buildings; different! If you walk along you’ll come to Rampart, and if you turn and walk along Rampart, you’ll find some restaurants, etc., but you won’t really be in the heart of the quarter which some say stretches really only from the Jackson Square area to Esplanade and Canal and then on up to Bourbon.

  But you’ll be across from Armstrong Park and the neighborhood on which a TV series has recently been based—Treme. Wonderful people live here; it’s still not a good idea to wander at night.

  When you reach Esplanade, you’ll know it! It’s a grand avenue with a tree laden divider and there are grand mansions on either side. Now, like all else, a lot of these mansions now constitute what I consider to be living history. A beautiful structure may still be privately owned—or it may be a restaurant and shops downstairs and some apartments upstairs. If you like walking, this gorgeous tree-laden street is for you. I’ll also mention here that it’s where you’ll find Port of Call—a bar/restaurant which serves up some of the finest hamburgers and baked potatoes you’ll ever have. I’m serious—best baked potatoes. I’m assuming they come from Idaho and I could be wrong. I just know that they’re huge and delicious!

  Keep on walking down and you’ll reach the French Market. You won’t be doing anything new; the French Market has been an institution since 1791. It’s a great place to go for all kinds of delicious things. Now, you keep walking, and you’ll be amazed at what you can buy. The area houses stalls that sell almost everything in the world.

  So, you’ve come back to the river. You’ll have passed some unbelievable places, good restaurants shops, all kinds of wonders. When you reach the end of the market and some of the cafes and shops that follow, you’ll be at Café du Monde.

  This is truly an institution—many people say that if you just brush by NOLA, you must stop at Café du Monde. The menu is small and naturally, it’s famous for its delicious, powdery beignets. (Word to the wise; I’ve done it—don’t wear black!) Of course, it’s not just the fabulous sugar treat that will draw you here, or the rich, dark coffee (hot or iced!) Sitting at Café du Monde is half the fun. You can find a table where you can watch the heart and throb of the city go on. The mule-drawn carriages that hike tourists around on all kinds of tours (history with or without vampires and ghosts and other-worldly creatures) line up in front of Jackson Square. Mules are here in NOLA because horses can’t stand the heat; the hearty mule does well! Artists set up there, and if you were walking on that side of the street, you could find yourself buying a colorful city scape as you head to catch a carriage. But at Café du Monde, you just watch it all. You have a view of the street performers—those who sing and play musical instruments, and those who pose as statues in different paint or appointments. Some are absolutely awesome in their ability to stand for hours on end without moving!

  You’ll see the fortune tellers there as well; if you have the mind to, you can run across and have you palm read, or find out what the tarot cards have to say about your future.

  And, resting from your walk at a table at Café du Monde, you can look into Jackson Square and see—Andrew Jackson. He’s astride his rearing horse, hat in hand, ever watchful over the city he saved at the Battle of New Orleans. In the early days, Jackson Square was called Place d’Armes. It was a little more than mush and a field back then, a place where troops could drill, and where criminals might be seen in stocks –and where executions might be carried out.

  Today…

  Don’t think about the executions! Enjoy General Jackson as he waves his hat, and wave back if you’ve the mind to do so.

  It’s NOLA. People will think nothing of it!

  Day Six - The Haunted Mortuary

  Chills, thrills, screams, yes! This beautiful old place was built as a home. Then it did, historically, become a mortuary; the embalming rooms remain today.

  I’m particularly fond of the Haunted Mortuary because we were able to see it in its infancy, before it was really decided just what it was going to be. There was work being done the first time we came; while failed businesses over the years—and Hurricane Katrina!—had taken their toll on the beautiful mansion, they hadn’t done her in.

  There were plans for it to house a paranormal research facility—which it did for many years. There was a wonderful upstairs room with an octagonal table where cards could be read. People could be tested to find out if they did have psychic abilities.

  The paranormal research people have moved on, but the Haunted Mortuary—elegant in its gruesomeness—lives on!

  The first time I came when it was set up with the “haunted” house in the basement, I was really there to be upstairs to talk to the para-psychology group and it was daytime. But, they were set-up below for the haunted house to begin for the Halloween season.

  Even by light, oh...!

  They do a fantastic job here!

  A year or so ago when we were doing our Writers for New Orleans conference on the Labor Day Weekend, the management was kind enough to allow our group in for a private “early-bird.” It was just our group—and I promise you, we stayed close!

  It’s now billed as one of the “most actively haunted” houses in the United States. Whether real ghosts have taken up residency or not, I do know that as a Halloween haunted house, it’s one of the most frightening I’ve ever seen. Live actors enhance the tingles that will seize you.

  We brought in our own catering that night with the blessings of the management the house was not fully up—it wasn’t due to open to the public for another week. Connie was unaware that many of the creatures were motion activated. The basement level (where the embalming went on) is on the tour—it’s also where you can bring heavy things on through to the kitchen. As Connie entered from the backside with our trays of sandwiches and munchies, she inadvertently walked right by a giant, creepy monster with huge skeletal arms and fingers and dripping moss. As she
moved, the light came on—the monster moved and cackled—and Connie screamed, jumped a mile high—and sandwiches went flying.

  I’ve seldom been so scared by such a facility—nor have I laughed harder!

  They have simply done a spectacular job with the place. Rooms are truly historically tinged by the past and therefore, perhaps, they already offer a sense of that long time gone that we can no longer touch. Maybe there’s a faint whimper left on the air, the tears of a survivor saying goodbye to a loved one. The effects are worthy of a good Hollywood flick and the actors have a nice zeal for their jobs.

  The Haunted Mortuary is a true Victorian mansion, grand in its scope. It sits at 4800 Canal Street (out of the Quarter!) but can be reached easily by car or streetcar. It was built in 1872 by a woman named Mary Slattery who surely imagined that in the decades to come, her children and grandchildren would live in the house. But dreams are seldom to be—in 1905 she sold the home, and in 1928, it was sold again—this time to become a business.

  By 1930, new owners were advertising the house as the P.J. McMahon and Sons Undertaking. In 1933, the garage entry was built—that same entry that nearly scared Connie to an early grave! The concept at the time was that a funeral home should have all the comforts of home, and, of course, give comfort to the loved ones left behind.